Reflections on Social Media, Friendship, and Life After School ❤️

I recently did a little social media experiment.

Step 1: I reached out to old friends with positive messages, just to check in and see how they were doing.

Step 2: I shared a few funny screenshots of things publicly posted online as well as funny text screenshots shared with permission of the texter.

The result?  Besides a lot of funny responses, not much changed about the world.

Friends who were struggling to find jobs were still searching. A teenager whom I used to teach was complaining about school; kids still hate studying and were annoyed by things like missing their pencil pouches or feeling left out by other students. My own work continued as usual, and a few old friends were genuinely happy to hear from me. Some of them did not really care because they were just enjoying life. Some friends were struggling emotionally.

But that is the thing: we're all in different seasons of life, there is just too many people, we can't make it to every birthday, wedding, event.

We're no longer in college; many of us live far apart, and realistically, nobody has the time or energy to maintain every friendship at the same level forever. That doesn't mean those connections weren't meaningful.

Honestly, one thing I ask myself is: If I ran into one of my former students at the mall, would they run away in terror, or would they actually be excited to see me?

I would really hope they would not run away, maybe I would be running instead... Maybe not. As you get older, you kinda just get used to criticism and learn to not take it too seriously. I am grateful there are safeguards that we have to stop us from completely going mad.

On Social Media and Human Connection

There's so much digital noise these days, and everyone uses social media differently.

Some people want privacy, while others want to share their lives. Some promote businesses or products, while others simply share hobbies, funny moments, or memories.

Some use social media to celebrate their accomplishments, while others turn to it during difficult seasons because they don't know where else to express themselves.

And sometimes, people are genuinely struggling and need more support than a social media interaction can provide.

Sometimes, I feel like I see a lot of hateful fear-mongering and creepy things, and that is why I have decided to go back to my safe space of blogging.

During my free time, I simply want to encourage people not to give up, whether that means reminding them to take care of themselves, get some rest, or keep working toward their goals.

Of course, everyone ultimately has to make their own choices. I offer advice, but it's not my job to enforce anything. We need to listen and try to understand, then speak up when we see something terrible happen, but making comments online doesn't really do much... other than stir a few feathers here and there.

While professional mental health care, including therapy and medication when appropriate, can be incredibly valuable, I also believe there's something irreplaceable about genuine friendship and human connection that you don't have to pay for.

It's easy to compare ourselves to others online, feel left behind, or live vicariously through someone else's experiences. But sometimes, the healthiest thing we can do is talk honestly with someone we trust.

At the end of the day, I think the relationships we build in-person matter far more than our online presence.

On School, Work, and Learning to Let Go

I've also had some interesting conversations with old classmates, teachers, and staff about test anxiety, higher education, and how prepared students feel when entering the profession.

Everyone has different experiences, strengths, and challenges. While I can listen, offer encouragement, and share my perspective, I've realized that it's not my job to help others do better... if it were, someone really should have been paying me.

Sometimes, all I can really say is, "It is what it is. Hang in there, buddy. I'll pray for you." ❤️

Sometimes, the sincerity behind those words and physical presence matters most.

After 28 years on this Earth, I've learned to appreciate constructive criticism, take advice when it's helpful, and keep trying to improve.

Clinical skills develop with time and experience. As students, we have instructors and preceptors to guide us. As practicing doctors, the responsibility becomes much more personal.

That's why, at this early stage of my career, I want to focus on gaining experience, developing my clinical judgment, and becoming a better doctor.

When I'm at work, I'm there to focus on my patients, perform my responsibilities diligently, and give them the care they deserve.

When the workday is over, I appreciate being able to go home and enjoy the rest of my life.

One thing I love about optometry is the opportunity to build a meaningful career while still having a life outside the clinic.

On Volunteering, Mentorship, and Growing Up

Looking back, I definitely overdid it with extracurricular activities during school.

But I genuinely enjoyed them when I had the extra energy and the stakes were lower since I was still being monitored and corrected by teachers.

Whether it was volunteering, helping with events, spending time with friends, or mentoring other young adults, I participated in these roles because I wanted to, not because I felt obligated.

It was refreshing to step away from studying and spend time with people, but now I need to invest in long-term close friendships... something that gets harder when I think about planning for my own family in the future.

After a long workday, I don't have the energy to attend every event or meeting.

One of my favorite parts of working with children and teenagers was getting a glimpse into how younger people view the world. Some have incredibly bleak perspectives, and others are excited and cannot wait to grow up.

I am entertained, but I have also heard so many of the same "skibiddee" jokes that I sometimes cannot believe I had the patience to listen and try to guide/teach so many adults when it was not my job. It is not a bad thing, but it does take a lot to just sit and listen to the sufferings of one another as fellow humans on this earth.

Nevertheless, underneath all the humor, I've noticed that most kids, teens, and even adults who have gone through different types of grief, most just want to feel understood, accepted, included, or just helpful to their special person... As a single person, you can kinda talk with everybody for fun, but the deep things that are shared between close friends and family is something that is invaluable.

Some are navigating difficult circumstances, insecurity, or loneliness. And while I care about them, I've also learned that caring doesn't mean being responsible for solving everyone's problems.

A good friend reminded me that I can't be everyone's therapist, and everyone is moving through life on their own timeline.

Sometimes, the best thing we can do is offer encouragement, point someone toward appropriate support, and recognize our own limitations.

As Vanessa Hudgens once sang in High School Musical...

"I Gotta Go My Own Way!" 🎶

A Final Reflection ❤️

Looking back, I still find it a little miraculous that I managed to juggle so many extracurricular activities, friendships, volunteer commitments, and academic responsibilities while doing well in school.

It was probably a slightly insane decision to take on so much, but I don't regret the experiences or the people I met along the way.

At the same time, I'm learning that just because I have the capacity to do something doesn't mean I always need to. I really do not want to be living like a college student despite sometimes being mistaken for one. Sigh... I actually want to age and look more mature because I do not want to be attracting the wrong kind of attention.

There's a season for working hard, a season for helping others, a season for building relationships, and a season for resting and focusing on your own growth.

I still want to be someone who encourages others, welcomes different perspectives, and contributes positively wherever I go, but solitude and proper healing through learning to communicate better is the way to go.

Do your work with integrity, treat people with kindness, stay open to learning, and remember to enjoy your own life along the way. ❤️

Admit errors

I am truly so broken because all humans are... "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God" Romans 3:23

But that does not mean life is over. It also does not mean it's my job to go into prisons and do crazy movie-level type of work to fix everybody. I have to fight my own battles before I try to help others. It's like when you go on an airplane and the flight attendant tells you to put your oxygen mask on first.

Admitting our shortcomings opens up ways to improve. It is prideful to think I don't need help,

I am not built to be a superhero

I am built to rest and work without going crazy.

Also, I just want to admit that not all aspects in my life are far from perfect, there is endless turmoil/there is always something going on, but a lot of people I know prefer to confidentially share about their struggles in a safe space.

The wonderful people I know keep secrets and do not weaponize them.

There is righteous anger, and there is also a dangerous, scary kind of anger and aggression

There is grief, and there is joy

That is the beauty and bittersweet reality of life.