If I'm honest, I never really hear too much about vanity in the Christian community. We talk a lot about pride, which is the root of vanity, but we hardly discuss the specific pride of one's physical appearance (though we do speak of the pride of one's achievements or attitudes of superiority). This may be because we're often struggling to tackle a seemingly opposite obstacle: inappropriately negative self-image and insecurity. It's one thing to understand that we were all once children of wrath, trapped in a helplessly sinful state without hope of improvement outside of Christ (though we no longer live in that state, having been transformed); it's another to heed the lies of the Enemy and deny the beauty of the physicality God gave you. After all, He did craft you Himself. And while we are caught up in the discourse over this particular battle, which by the way is a completely valid struggle, there appears to be an avoidance of the other problem one might have. And in truth, these two issues aren't necessarily unrelated.
Vanity seems reserved for old school Christianity, for Pilgrim's Progress and medieval morality plays. But you'd think it'd be a hot topic.
Social media culture promotes self-glorification on every possible level, and there's pressure to constantly remind people of your good looks.
We use all sorts of filters to modify our image so we can present the best looking version of ourselves to the strangers who follow us and to the friends who have already seen our unrefined morning faces. Am I saying it's wrong to do a little facial touch ups on your yearbook photos, or your grad pics? No, I'm not here to nitpick (and my skin can be super blotchy at times so trust me I'm no stranger to filters). And I'm not saying every selfie you ever posted was sinful. I'm right there with you guys. But it's wise to be weary of our Adversary, and the very slimy and subtle methods the devil likes to implement to lead us into complacency and deceptive ignorance.
The first Merriam-Webster definition of vanity reads as follows: "inflated pride in oneself or one's appearance: conceit." So, are you vain for checking your makeup in the mirror every once in a while? Nope. Are you vain if you are constantly filling up your brain space with thoughts concerning your looks, if you're ravenous for public approval and excessive or even constant praise of your body? Well...an obsessive inclination like that will not leave much room for setting your mind on heavenly things, and indeed it can often act as a veil that keeps you from confronting insecurities and a true desire to be thought of as lovable. Your looks are important, yes, and physical attraction has a necessary place in romantic relationships. But constantly focusing on the ways in which you meet (or fail to meet) cosmopolitan beauty standards can ironically allow for you to forget the One who made you truly and deeply beautiful, the One who is actually the most beautiful, and leaving Him out of the picture can actually keep you from fully receiving the security of His insistence on your beauty. More than that, it can lead you to fixate on your own satisfaction to the point where you completely ignore the needs of your community and loved ones. How can you care for others when your own vanity is taking up 98% of your waking thoughts?
Self-worship can be subtle.
We might not be building shrines of ourselves or demanding statues of our likeness be raised in public squares and bowed to, but be honest with yourself. Are you more concerned with others looking at your greatness, or God's? Are you fidgeting as you neurotically check how many likes you got on your newest selfie? Do you feel deeply angered, ashamed, or discouraged every time you don't receive the public approval you were seeking? Do you feel these things because you're trying to put your looks on a pedestal to make up for insecurities with yourself, about a restless lack of certainty in your own desirability? You are valuable and recognizing that is far from a sin (it actually glorifies God!). But to know your value, remember He who first said "She is precious."
This is a small example, and a foolish one, but I dyed my hair for the first time this past winter. It was an unnatural color, so I constantly had to check how many times I washed my hair and what amounts of color-carrying conditioner I was rubbing in. I would anxiously check on my phone camera throughout the day to see if the shade of my hair had changed. I was always worried about how I had styled it, if it really showed off the color in the way I wanted it to. I latched onto every single comment someone made about the blending and the fading. I didn't initially look at myself and think "wow, I'm being such a dirty sinner right now." I didn't feel any immediate sense of guilt or embarrassment. But after a while, I started to realize that I was being ridiculous and my hair was consuming way too much mental space. I missed out on opportunities to focus on other things and I even sometimes had trouble concentrating on my conversations with others because I was yearning to rush back to the restroom to look in the mirror. It felt different from the times I would occasionally admire my natural hair color in the glint of the afternoon sun- on those occasions, I smiled and usually expressed appreciation to God before moving on with my life. Suddenly I recognized that I was in a very similar place as I had been quite a number of years ago in high school, right before I deleted my Instagram. There's nothing wrong with having a personal Instagram account, but I had struggled with obsessive tendencies and pride. And I actually realized that this was only feeding my dissatisfaction in life. I eventually knew I had to get rid of it, and it wasn't the sole encourager of my inclination to think only of myself, but it definitely wasn't helping me. You gotta know yourself, know your weaknesses, know what's hurting you. Don't worry if you're struggling with identifying those things, whether you struggle with vanity or not: God will give you a heads up and affect change.
C.S. Lewis famously noted, "Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." Keep that in mind friends.
P.S. Recognizing the vanity in others does not justify judgment and self righteousness :)
P.P.S. Not everyone who has social media struggles with vanity, so don't make rash assumptions or be quick to point fingers.
A Personal Suggestion: This is something I've tried to do with my Facebook account, although I don't profess to have stuck to this perfectly. Try looking at your social media, even your personal accounts, as opportunities to lift others up and promote God when you are able to, more so than using it to promote yourself. It's totally okay to share unique moments in your life that you think others would genuinely enjoy seeing. But as always, be weary, and "...look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others" (Philippians 2:4). Look to their greatest good in Christ.
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