So let's talk about your prayer life. Maybe you're consistently indulging your spiritual sweet tooth in a Jesus sugar high. Maybe you've been experiencing a little bit of frustration (okay, maybe you're more than a little frustrated). Or perhaps you wouldn't feign to call your occasional pleas for decent midterm scores to be a "prayer life" per se. Regardless of what boat you're in, it's likely you've had more than a few questions on your mind when it came to telephoning the Almighty. There may have been periods of confusion, downright defeatism, or impatience.
-Why aren't my prayers "working"?
-Why isn't God answering right away? It's not like I'm asking to win the lottery- I'm asking for something good, even Biblical! Doesn't He want good things for me? Doesn't He want me to be happy?
-Why isn't God responding clearly? Can't He just give me a straight answer?
-Why did He say no? Is it really a "no"?
-What. Does. He. Want???
-Is He even listening?
The list goes on and on. And while entire books could be written (in fact, they have been written) in response to these queries, there's no way I can give you an all-inclusive inventory of answers. I don't know your specific situation, and I don't know why God might be working the way He's working in your life right now (rest assured, He is working). But here are a few things to consider when it comes to how you're praying. No, I'm not trying to tell you there's one universal formula, aside from maybe the Lord's prayer, that you should have been following. Prayer looks different from person to person in terms of style and format. But I'm talking about heart posture and response.
One of my best friends runs a podcast called Joyfullheartt, aimed at providing spiritual guidance for young Christian women in their early 20s. Her fifth episode, titled "Maybe you're asking wrong?" addresses incorrect heart postures or ideas that we might bring into prayer. But a quick disclaimer before we get into this: the junk we might bring in doesn't change the success of God's outcomes for your life or His love for you. He'll make you aware of these sticky problems clogging up your prayer arteries and flush them out to make room for healthier habits.
Now, back to the nitty gritty. As per the advice of my friend, these are a few questions you might want to ask yourself if you want to get clear out any obstacles in your prayer life:
1. Are you praying consistently? That could be a yes, but perhaps more importantly are you listening consistently? Ah yes, we often forget in our eagerness to vent and pour out our petitions to actually stop to listen. It might feel awkward to physically stop speaking, quiet the endless churning of our thoughts, and be still before the Lord, but it is a benchmark of maturity in your faith. It doesn't mean you'll hear a big booming voice from the heavens (if you do, tell us about it!). Oftentimes God's voice comes to us in whispers from the Holy Spirit. It could come in visions, in remembrances of Scripture, in sudden epiphany. Be sure to always test these with the Word, so as not to fall victim to the Enemy. But as you grow in intimacy with Christ, you will begin to recognize His "voice" more and more, like sheep who know their shepherd's softest sigh. And the listening doesn't just have to happen during your quiet time. Have your heart be open to God's voice throughout the day. Because if you're not hearing something, it could be that you haven't been in the habit of listening.
2. Do you come to God with a sense of entitlement or pride? This is different from a holy confidence in God's love and promises for you. Scripture says, "And blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from the Lord" (Luke 1:45). Elizabeth's words to Mary here refer to a wholehearted faith in the Lord's faithfulness and ability to keep His promises. When we claim the Lord's promises in our prayers, we please Him by acknowledging the steadfastness of His character and we remind ourselves of the hope of things assured. That's not evil entitlement. As a child of Christ, you are to receive an inheritance. But a heart of prideful privilege does not focus on the generosity of God or His faithfulness or even His promises. An evil heart focuses on your worthiness based upon your own self-earned merit or human greatness apart from God. If you expect Him to give you something because you believe somehow, without any empowerment or aid from Him, you have earned it or you deserve it, then please watch yourself my friend. God is not obligated to give you anything, and you most certainly did not lead any kind of perfect life to earn His sacrifice. You need to look at His blessings through the lens of grace- undeserved on your end, selfless delight and pure charity on His end. Also important: recognize that you are not always the best judge of your true needs (ouch), but in humility acknowledge that God always is. All have fallen short of the glory of God, but He loves you perfectly and will give you His best for you. Trust in His heart for you. It is in this holy love that He gifts you with beauty beyond anything you can ask for or imagine.
3. Are you willing to let go of control? Humans like to lift up our burdens to God, lay them at the feet of Jesus, and snatch those weights right back up for our own arms to carry in a disturbing urge to micromanage and control our lives outside of His wisdom. Do you trust Him to take care of that thing you talked to Him about, or are you already coming in with pessimism? Do you have the faith to receive what He's going to give you? Unbelief is often the cause of unrest and uneasiness (Hebrews 3:18-19). And get this guys- sometimes God makes you wait a while so you can recognize your unbelief and receive the faith required to welcome His blessings. Faith will strengthen your relationship with the Lord and give you much needed peace of mind. There are some days when I get so overwhelmed by an ongoing problem that I wish God would just snap His fingers, fix everything, and make my life perfect like heaven or just rapture me up there. I'm not trying to be morbid, but I'm stressing my lack of patience. There have been times also where I have earnestly pleaded with God to give me godly, Biblically approved things such as a sense of deeper intimacy with Him, shared joy amongst my brothers and sisters, genuine fellowship, etc. And God made me wait a very, very long time. And it was extremely painful to wait. And yes, I got frustrated and hurt because I didn't ever stop to think that He was shaping me up to be in the best possible position to enjoy the things I was asking for.
Yes, God actually cared about my enjoyment of His blessings here on Earth.
And for the sake of stretching your perspective, chew on this: We know He's preparing a place for us in heaven, but He's also preparing us for that place in paradise, that we may fully receive final peace and perfection.
One last tidbit of advice, arguably one of the most important bits:
Recognize that your perception of God affects how you pray and the attitudes you bring into prayer.
If you see God as a dispassionate and distant figure who cares little about your day-to-day problems, if He seems like Someone who may belittle your issues or tell you to just "get it together" on your own, then you'll likely carry pessimism in your heart and find it hard to have faith that He's listening to you. If you see Him as a harsh and holy judge without the overflow of love and mercy at His heart's center, you may be afraid to listen to what He has to say about you; you may expect judgment and punishment, leading you to avoid talking to God about the deep messy things that you want to be free of. It's hard to let Him into the difficult parts of your life if you don't see Him as One who would love you enough to eagerly bring healing to those wounds. A lack of understanding of His sovereignty as it relates to His powerful love will disrupt the faith we need to receive His responses and blessings, and it will be hard to let go of control in prayer. The examples are endless but you get the picture. Taking time to reevaluate your perception of God can restore health to your prayer life. Ask Him to reveal the real Him, the One who delights in you.
We'll go ahead and keep it at those points for now. Self-reflection can be scary sometimes; we don't always want to say "God! Show me all my faults!" But you'd be surprised how gently He can nudge you in the right direction sometimes, how ready He is to clean you up and send you on your way. There are also times when our sinful heart postures have sprouted from deep, stubborn roots and it might take time to remove these completely. But God takes His time because He wants to make sure the problem is dealt with thoroughly. He loves you enough to do that.
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